Stupid Guy+ Amazing Girl= Heart Brake...

So here it is, the title of my post is the way I have been feeling since about 2 weeks ago Wednesday...As most of you can see I have been completely heart broken! You know what I absolutely can NOT stand is when a guy that likes you and says so, turns around and starts dating someone not even a week later. Now you tell me something...am I just finally getting sensitive? Or am I just a big freakin BABY!?!? Let me tell you the story.. because I am still in a bit of shock!

So the end of May I started to date Kyle, he was amazing an RM, active in the church, sweet, caring, and an all around good guy... OR SO I THOUGHT! So we dated for a while just casually, nothing to crazy then one night he asked me to be his girlfriend and I was sooo excited! A couple weeks later he texted me and said "I need to talk to you about something" Now being the girl that I am the threw a huge RED flag at my face. So I went to talk to Kyle and everything seemed fine. He had told me that he really liked me still and really enjoyed all the time he spent with me but he just wanted to be sure that he really wanted to date me as seriously as it seemed we were I guess. So I agreed and thought everything would work out and that I would date some just to see how it went. I didn't hear from Kyle for like 4 days so I just blew it off. Then Jaclyne and I went country swing dancing at the Fun Park and I glanced over to my left and lo and behold there was Kyle and I got all excited! Just as I was about to tell Chelsie that Kyle was there I realized that he was with another GIRL!!!!!! Yeah that is right another girl! WOW!!!!! I ignored him all night and then later texted him just to conferm my suspisions. I WAS RIGHT! She was HIS girlfriend!! WHAT?! A girlfriend and we hadn't even been apart a week? K, so maybe I am over reacting but it hurt so bad. And you know what is interesting...I'm totally ok with it now. I'm over him! ...well kinda.... Just frustration.. I give up on dating it gets me NO WHERE!!

peace Kae

Current Thoughts

So today I was deep in thought when I realized that I spend far too much time on the computer and that especially includes Facebook…I wanna pose some questions out there and maybe I can figure them out.

1.What is so enticing about the whole Facebook idea?
2. Why do we spend all of our time on a page where all we do is stare mindlessly at other people’s pictures?
3.Why do we take quizzes that supposedly tell us what kind of kisser, Disney character, what our eyes mean ect…

Anyone have any ideas? Is it because I have no life and I find it more interesting to see how much fun other peoples lives are? I guess so because I spend all my time doing that than taking my time to go and have a life all of my own…kind of stupid don’t you think? I would like some suggestions on how to improve my life…

Now for the other things that I have been thinking about. There is a song by Michael Jackson that I heard this week that has really hit me hard in life and made me think. Yes, it was preformed by the “King of Pop” but before you judge just listen to me for one moment ok…It’s called “You Are Not Alone”. Last night as I drove home from an extremely long night at work I listened to this song and due to the recent events in my life this song not only is a song about two people who love each other, but it also took on a spiritual meaning to me. It reminded me that my Savior Jesus Chris is always there for me, and he wants me to know that he loves me. Now before you harp on me to the fact that what was I thinking to put our Savior’s name and Michael Jackson’s name in the same paragraph…just take into consideration that maybe you haven’t heard the song and don’t understand the impact it has on my life. J I love this song and it not only makes me happy but it also brings me comfort. J

The next item of business…Who do you think would turn on a child and make them feel less than dirt? Well to most of us in the World you would think that only someone who doesn’t love children and has only their own best interests at heart….well I have a total shocker for most of you…this week my dad surpassed that! In one week my sister has shed more tears of sorrow and hurt that I thought was ever possible. Let me just ask a question really quick, What kind of communication skills do you expect a 13 year old to have? Since when has your new spouse taken precedence to your children? Why do would you think that a parent would side immediately with their new spouse over their children? Since when is the word of a 40 year old better than a 13 year old who doesn’t lie? Sorry for all the questions but I don’t understand how someone that is supposed to love you constantly turn their back and make a child feel as thought they are just dirt under your shoe…! I’m lost!

I think for this session I have said my peace but don’t worry there is still more to come! J

~*kae*~

HAHAHA months later.....

Here it is just the 2nd week in June and I haven't written in like 4 months. WOW!!! So much has happened to me in the last little bit. I have gotten a new job, broke up with Chris and have dated a TON, also have met a really nice guy and am now getting ready to go to beauty school in the fall. Goodness...hahaha that is a mouth full!

So we'll start with the most recent...school....I am going to New Horizons Beauty School starting in August, August 18th to be exact. YAY!! My dreams are finally about to come true! I was a little leary about taking the apptitude test, but now that I have taken it, I couldn't be more excited. I scored hight enough to recieve a small scholarship of $390.00. It's not a whole lot but who am I to complain?? But anyways, I can't wait to start and I can't wait to finish so I can begin my career.

Next, boys...LAME!!! HAHAHA Chris and I are done FOREVER!!! He decided to go back to his minor ex-girlfriend, and doing things that he knows are wrong...the end...GOOD-BYE CHRIS!!! HEllO....DATING! HAHA, I've been on more dates in the last 4 months than I have in the last 6 months...not that, that is a lot but it really is. I met a guy he is really nice, he is an RM, active in the church, sweet, and we have a TON in common! YAY!! We'll see how everything works out.

That basically is the end of everything that has happened to me..if you wanna know more just ask...you know I'll tell the details hahaha

Starting Anew...

Something in the last month has changed me and I think it has been for the better. I ended a relationship that was a serious learning experience, I met a rebound guy, I got a new job with the greatest kids in the world and the greatest co-workers, and I met a sweet guy... :) I have had the most up and down emotional month. I have made a choice that I hope will be one of the greatest choice of my life, I would like to go on a mission. When I started working at South Cache 8-9 Center I didn't know the life changing things that would happen to me. First I work with a student that is difficult and he is teaching me patience, understanding, and communication skills. He has taught me more about myself in the last month than I think I could have learned on my own. Since working there I have met some really AMAZING people. One of which, has become not only a great friend, but an inspiration to me. Jacki has been on a mission she is strong in the church and just a great person to be around. Jacki is the reason I want to go on a mission, I see the way she is in life and eveything and the sweet spirit that she has about her. I want to be like Jacki in the sense I want to have the same conviction that she has about life and church. This is the type of person I would like to have as a life long friend.

Also I have chosen to move home to my mom's house in Wellsville. I hope that I move home and that everything works out. I am going to live with my mom, step-dad, and little sister Marie. I am really excited to be at my mom's again, and I am so happy to possibly develop a better realationship with my sister. We'll see what happens here in the next few weeks...hahaha

Chris...Chris. Here it is, yes I'm sure it all seems kinda nuts, that I'm seeing someone!!! Yeah, i'm so excited to see what is going to happen with this. Chris and I dated a little in high school, and for a while last year. When I was going to move to Arizona for the summer I decided to ednt things, because 3 months of not seeing someone could be very hard...well I ended up coming back 4 days later from the day I left. Well how everything happened he thought he did something wrong, and I thought I thought I did something wrong...and so everything ended there... Now we are dating and seeing what will happen. :) really really excited to see what happens. :)

So This Weekend...

So this weekend I thought I would have trouble enjoying the weekend, since Bryce and I are over... On Friday Kenzie and I went to lunch after work and got lunch and then ate at Chili's for fun. It was fun to go and hang out with my sister and just visit and talk. I was so excited when Kenzie asked me to hang out with her and her friends on Friday night. It was the most fun I have had in the longest time. We went to a show for local bands and just hung out there for a while...then Jenna asked us if we wanted to go and hang out with Hobbs and his friends up in Preston. I had so much fun!! I met this guy named Tyson!!! YAY he is really nice and really cute! I had so much fun and he and I ended up cuddling!! Cute! Kenzie was so cute and she took a couple pictures of us..it was so cute. HAHAHA

Saturday was Valentines Day...my cousins wedding, that was an expierence all in it's self. It was fun but it was very depressing too, cuz I was all alone at a wedding on Valentines day. It wasn't the fun I would have liked but it turned out ok....

Sunday I htought that I would be bored again, but I was sitting her and chilling when Kenzie asked me if we could hang out with Jenna and Cortney...and go to Preston. It was so fun and I looked cute too...not to mention I got to hang out with Tyson again. YAY!! He is so cute and so much fun to cuddle with. I think I am totally crushing on him...SHHH don't tell ;)

XOXO Kae

A Week Summed Up...Slight Tragidy...

The last week has been a ROLLAR COASTER ride...lets start with the first thing that made this last week the worst in a long time.. I found out last Thursday that I got laid off at Standard Plumbing. Now my concerns with the current choice that Standard made:

1. Two people at my Branch got laid off...Me and Spencer J.

2. It was pay day....

3. The economy is HORRIBLE!!!

4. I have to search for a new job and basically a new life style

Ok so those are a few of the concerns that I have. I was thinkin of something though, I promised my area-coordinator that I would willing stay at Standard for at least a year. Now I would have made it, but the only reason I didn't was because of the stupid company lay offs. I have many questions though that have really weighed heavily on my mind...Did the south store have any one laid off? Did our store really not do as well as we though it did? Was our hard work really not good enough? I feel that the owner of Standard could have cut down on something else, so that Spence and I could keep our jobs. Just a thought.. Now my current thought is..Am I ever going to find a job with the current economy?

Next thing in my life that has me somewhat worried...Bryce...I love him but he and I had words on Saturday, and I told him that I needed to think about our relationship and make sure that our retationship is really what I want. I really do love to be with him and he makes me feel great about myself, and makes me want to be better no matter what. Right now I have made the choice to stay with him and not let doubts or concerns bother me. I still am worried though. I have never had feelings for someone this strong. I thought I did back a while ago, but I don't know...

Here it is the End of January....WEIRD!!!

So here it is the end of January! Holy Cow! This month has flown by like it didn't even exist...So this week...how to start? I have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world!! He is working on the most recent of albums for his band called "Rain" which is great but I guess I feel kinda neglected through this whole process. I know he doesn't mean to but it just happens. How do I bring it up? I think in the last two days we have talked maybe a total of 20 minutes!!! That is all...It's killing me.

So here it is almost Valentines Day and Bryce's birthday...What do I do that is cute but not like totally crazy...any ideas?? I hope this Valentines Day is a complete 180 from last year...Last year was so odd....I had a date, YES I did! The only weird part is 1. He wasn't my boyfriend 2. He was so weird. He was the friend of a guy I had dated the summer before. TOTALLY CRAZY!!!

Well I think that the title of my Blog is finally taking part in who I am as a person. I have I think made a complete change. I am trying not to swear, and I am going to try to get back to church. I wasn't really trying before, but I know that I want a temple marrage more than anything and I think I even know who I want to share that specail moment with... Something happened to me in the last few days that have totally changed my perspective on a ton of things. I had one of the greatest experiences last night and thank you to my step-dad Bill I'm not sure I would know for sure. I was in Deseret Book this week and there were some books that I saw that I wanted one was about AMAZING Mirculous things that happen concerning LDS Temples, another is a 21 day walk with the Savior, and the last is one of the kind that if you don't know where to turn the Savior is the place to look. I am so excited about so many things that are going on right now that I just could burst. :) HAHA well that is all I have for now... xoxo KAE

The Last Week....

So here in the last week I have been dealing with the stupid pain of an infected Wisdom tooth....What the heck is with that...?? I mean seriously why the heck do we get wisdom teeth? You have to get them out anyways so why do they even form in your mouth? I'm so lost haha They are just painful suckers :) I guess i'm kinda bitter considering mine hurts. I've been to the dentist 3 time in a week, I'm on an antibiotic that at first(before i took it) was told that I could be allergic to it...I'm not talking like a rash, I'm talking HIVES, ANAFALACTIC SHOCK!!! Scary! So I guess here is the ultimate question, why do we get them and what are they good for? Especally for people like me that barely have enough room in their mouth as it is......

Out to MOM!! :) LOVE YOU & Everyone else who wants to mess with my Family Beware!!

This one is for the mom, I love you! Don't let anyone let you think other wise! Yeah we have had our rough patches but who doesn't? Whatever was said, by whom ever ignore it...your my mom and I love you for who you are! I don't want you to think you did anything wrong. YOU DIDN'T! Don't worry who says what it is jealously towards who you are and what you think. I hope that the future brings better experiences than this. You deserve it.

For those of you that think that you can hurt my mom you are wrong! What happened is done you can't change the past! Don't tell everyone that the choices you made were your fault and then turn around and tell someone that it is their fault! If you have a problem with someone keep it to yourself! Don't be vindicitve and INTENTIONALLY hurt someone for the choices you make. We all do stupid things now and then, but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on others! I LOVE MY MOM and I don't care what anyone has to say to try and contradict me. Yeah she and I have had some rough spots in our relationship, who doesn't? If I come to you and want to talk about frustrations that I am having that is to be KEPT confidential! I don't want it to be broadcast to the who F-ing nation and especially to the person that I am frustrated with, because usually I have strong feelings for that person and they mean a lot to me....I don't tell everyone about your frustrations!

Any of you that agree good for you! Keep doing the good things you know you can do. But those of you that constantly degrade, and maliciously, antangonize my loved ones you have started a war that there is NO guarentee it will end! You have stirred the pot and now it's coming back to bite you in the BUTT! Karma is a Bitch! (excuse the language) It ALWAYS comes back to get you! Just remember that!