You know when you have just a good day, you can't explain why, or what makes it great. Well today is one of those days that you just feel so good about life and everything in the world. I sat on the porch last night with Kailey and we just talked, politics, love lives, work, and just about everything in between. It was fun to talk to a good friend, and not be worried about what she might think. I feel like I have so much to be thankful for today.

I woke up this morning and was so happy to have the opportunity to be alive, and doing well. There is so much in the world that is going badly right now, and I couldn't be more happy with the good things that are happening to me at the moment. One of the things that is so great is that I have Cody in my life. I know I've said it a million times but he makes me so happy. He makes me want to be a better person, everyday whether he knows it or not. Thanks babe for all you do for me. :)



When life seems to get you on your knees all you can do is hope and pray that goodness comes from sorrow. I was able to reflect on my grandpa and his happy outlook on life even when it was tough to be happy. It's been a rough year without him, and still you can't be happy out of the sadness, because of the full life he lived. I hope that I can always find the goodness in life like my grandpa did through his whole life.

Trying So Hard

It seems anymore that my emotions are all messed up. I’m trying to juggle 3 jobs, getting ready for school, a boyfriend, and my family. It all seems to be coming at me from all directions anymore. School all in itself is frustrating, just for the fact that I’m doing school. Work is out of control, in the last week I’ve worked 38 hrs at Wellcome Mart, and the one day that I need off work no one will work for me. Is it that freaking hard to just help someone out? There is nothing more frustrating that some of the BS I have to put up with at work. The hotel isn’t too bad but I have a hard time anymore just sitting, waiting on other people. Summer school is out for 2 more weeks then school with start back up, so that hasn’t been to frustrating. Cody is great to just listen, but sometimes I’m not sure if some of the comments he makes are just joking around or if he is really serious. Family is always a toughy for me. I have one of the most dysfunctional families I know. I have my mom and step dad who, are “Just doing the best they can”, I have a dad and step mom who just sit in the back ground and hope things just happen in their favor. I have a brother that is so messed up you can’t even begin to try and understand how to help or even if you can. Then there is my sister who just exists anymore. I have not felt so much anxiety in a really long time.
Why is it that when all I do is ask a simple question or voice an opinion everyone jumps down my throat? Honestly if I wanted to know what you think I’d point blank ask you, “What do you think of this?”
I cry at the drop of a hat anymore, all I wanna do is tell the people that I’m frustrated with how much they anger me, and why. I drop all I do to help someone and they basically tell me to F off… I just try to understand something and make an ass of myself for trying to understand. I’m getting to the point in life where I wanna move on the next step, and just be done with family BS and be living in it.
I feel that life is just moving by, I feel like I’m on a time crunch and that I’m going to be left behind. I feel like something with Cody could drastically change, sometimes I wonder if I am just expendable to him. I feel like I’m not good enough when it comes down to it. He says that he would date someone that is like a size 2, and huge boobs, and everything I’m not. It makes me wonder if I’m not what he wants. He always says well you know where the door is, and sometimes I wanna walk out the door, and never look back. I just want him to love me, for me and who I am, that is all I want.
I just need to let it all out, I need to be me.

Please no comments, just a bawling fest. Thanks

5 Hour Energy

So yesterday was Sunday and I had a long day ahead of me, I worked 11-5 at Wellcome Mart and then 6-11 at the Weston Inn. Work at Wellcome Mart wasn't to bad, really slow but it was a Sunday so that is somewhat to be expected, but I knew that if I was going to work for another 5 hours I would need a little pick me up. When I left the house for work at the Weston I stopped at Wellcome Mart to buy the non-caffinated 5 Hour Energy drink to help me to stay awake since I was exhausted as it was. Mind you I haven't had any kind of energy pick me up for like over 6 months. I thought though that I'd be ok since the 5 Hour Energy didn't have caffine. Well it worked to say the least, but the worst thing happened about 8:30pm I started to shake like crazy! I had eaten so I knew it wasn't my sugar dropping, it had to be the energy! It finally passed and I felt fine, but still it wasn't a good feeling to be shaking so badly.

Today, I got up and went about my laundry, and ate breakfast. About 1:30 I began to shake again! UGH!!! I ate lunch, drank so water, yeah it did nothing. I was disoriented and feeling nothing like myself! Yeah huge problem..what could have made me feel like this? I know that things pass through your system quite quickly, but to feel like that is so different since I haven't had problems with my sugar in a long time. I think it was the 5 Hour Energy. To say the least although they are advertised to be better than say a Rockstar or Monster energy drink I think it's just as bad for you! Learned a valuable lesson that is for sure...just because it doesn't contain caffine doesn't mean that it won't affect you badly. :)

Oh How the Time Flies

It's so crazy to think that it was 8 months ago I was just working and trying to figure out life and whatnot. Eight months ago today was Cody and I's first date! We went to dinner at The Beehive Grill, and just drove around talkin'. Who would know that 8 months later we would still be a couple and happy...from what I can see :) In these last eight months I think we both have grown so much, we both have I think a high respect for each other. I never though we would make it this far. I'm so grateful for the fun times and for even those couple of rough times when I wasn't sure if we would work out. I am so happy to have Cody, and so blessed, he has changed me for the good. I've learned that I need to stand up for myself more than I ever have. I don't think that words can sum up what I feel and think about our relationship. I have never in my life thought so much of someone. You know the greatest thing about him is that no matter where I am or how tough the situation he is there for me, and I can talk to him and he will always understand how I feel and give me feedback that helps me through the situation. When I need a shoulder to cry on (which I've cried on his shoulder literally lots) he is there to understand. I know that he and I haven't said the "L" word and that is ok, but I'm in the most serious "Like" with him...honestly I think it's more than just like but oh well. But this one is for Cody, I am so happy to be with you and can't tell you how happy you make me. I hope that things continue to go good with us!!

xoxo Kae

Feb...till Now :)

Wow this is going to be quite the update. From February till now, that is quite the gap right?! So March was fairly uneventful other than Cody and I went to Jackson Hole for the Hill Climbs. That was such a good time, we hung out with friends and just hung out. It was so cold! Brrr but it was fun. April, that month started busy but wasn't towards the end. My family and I went to Arizona for a week. From the time we left on Thursday till the next Wednesday we spent more than 24 hours total in the car. Now for all of you that know me I can only handle so much of people for so long. By the end of the trip I was ready to kill everyone in the car. But on the way I saw so many neat things and over all had a really good time. While we were in AZ we visited: Phoenix, Mesa, Scottsdale, Tuscon, Tombstone, Globe, Show Low, Pine Top, and just about everything in between.

Phoenix, Mesa,& Scottsdale:
We saw the Easter Pageant at the Mesa Temple. Now that was the most amazingly beautiful thing ever. It was the story of the Saviors life and crucifixion. If you haven't been totally make time to see it one day. While in the Phoenix area we visited Old Scottsdale, there were many different shops, art galleries and places to eat. By this point I was already totally pissed off lol. All I wanted to do was get the heck out of the state. Finally we made time to go shopping and so that kinda made me happy. Bill's brother Larry and his wife and daughter came while we were in Phoenix.

Tombstone:

HOORAY!!! My favorite part of our whole trip! I am a total Wyatt Earp fan! Not to mention I love the movie Tombstone, starring Kirt Russell and Val Kilmer! Oh gosh, it was amazing to see all the sights that are in the movie and they become real. For those of you that have seen the movie the Bird Cage Theater is really there and is in the exact same location as it was when Wyatt Earp, his brothers, and Doc Holliday where there. Also I visited the Oriental Saloon where Morgan Earp was shot and killed. That was really cool. While in Tombstone, we went to Boot Hill Cemetary. Boot Hill Cemetary is the location where: Fred White, the McLaury Brothers and countless other people are buried.

Tuscon:

We were in Tuscon only one night so I didn't get to see much there, but on the drive out of Tuscon we stopped at this place called the Biosphere 2. It's really neat there is this building that has all different kinds of habitats, that range from desert, to ocean, to the rain forest. It's in one large building! Really interesting! Here is a link to check it out :) www.b2science.org

We then hit Moab on the way home, it was so long I thought I was going to die. I sure am glad I went on the trip even though it was so long. I learned a lot about myself and my family and that you should NEVER under ANY circumstances go on a vacation with your parent after you are 17 or so. LOL

After Arizona there hasn't been much to happen, just work and school so that has kept me busy. Cody and I are still together and have been dating since October, it's been almost 8 months crazy to think that we've lasted this long. It sure was a surprise to me, but I couldn't be more happy. If anything else cool happens I'll be sure to post it. :)

peace Kae

A New 3 Year Old in My Life....

So I'm sure some of you are wonderin' what is going on in my life. Cody and I are still together and going good. We both surpassed our longest relationships, mine was 3 months...and according to Cody his is like 5 days...I doubt that but whatev.. But still it is a huge accomplishment on both our parts :)

The name of my post is so serious I have a new bf, his name is Carter. Carter is Cody's brother Jason's little guy. The following story is funny so feel free to laugh cuz I do. Keep in mind Carter is 3.

I was driving to work about 2 weeks ago and I passed Paul, Clayton, and apparently Carter was with them. Carter looked at Paul and said, "That's ma girlfriend." Well Clayton looked at Carter and was like well your going to have to talk to Cody about that. Carter then replied, " Oh, he won't mind."

Well when I found out that I had a new bf, I was excited just shocked that I was the last to know. :) A few days later Carter and Jason came to Cody's and Carter walked in the door and Cody said, "I hear ya have a gf, who is it?" Carter all proud of himself relpied, "KaeLani!". He was so excited he came and sat on my lap and I gave him a kiss and he blushed it was so cute. So after that happened he walked around sayin, "I kissed ma girlfriend, I kissed ma girlfriend."

Then this last week Carter was with Clayton and Sandra and they needed to stop at Cody's to get some things out of Cody's truck since they were takin Carter home. Carter looked at Sandra and said, "I wanna go see KaeLani." ( my car was in the driveway, YES he knows what my car looks like) Sandra told him that he couldn't come in since they were takin him home and so he got all in a huff and put his head in his hands then looked at Sandra and says. "She is so beautiful." puts his head back in his hands and then says, "I'm going to marry her when I turn 18." Carter is such a stud!!!


So this goes out to Carter.....Happy Valentines Day xoxo KaeLani

Thought of This Today

Today as I drove to work at the Weston Inn, I had to stop at the light at 600 West and HWY 89-91. This is the where Logan River Academy and Zollengers Cold Storage are located. If you don’t know or forgot why this location is significant to me let me refresh your memory or tell you why it’s significant.

May 12, 2007

I was in Salt Lake with some friends walking around Temple Square and enjoying the day. Driving home at about the Lagoon/ Farmington exit I received a phone call from Kent (Bankhead, my dad’s bf).

Me: Hello?

Kent: Hey KaeLani, this is Kent do you know where your dad is?

Me: No, I’d guess he is at home, is he not there?

Kent: Don’t you know?

Me: Know what?

Kent: Your dad has been in a motorcycle accident.

Me: WHAT?!

Kent: Call your mom, and she can tell you.

I called my mom just after that, and she told me that my dad and Dayna had been in a very bad accident and that they were both in the hospital. I was silent, as the tears welled up in my eyes I could’t believe it. I thought that my dad wasn’t going to make it. That was the longest drive of my life from Farmington to my house in Wellsville.

When I got home I tried to call my grandma Sharon so that I could find out what happened and so that I could find out if I could see my dad. I finally got a hold of my grandma and she told me that my dad had been in an accident that was very serious. I asked her how serious and she told me that my dad had a concussion, broken his nose, and had had his four front teeth pushed up into his gums. His teeth had been pushed up so far as to the point it looked like he lost them altogether. Grandma told me that Dayna had the worst of the injuries. Dayna had lacerated her spleen, broken most of the ribs on her left side, broken her wrist, and punctured her lungs; she also had a small stroke. Dayna spent nearly a month in ICU and Respiratory ICU, battling for her life. Dad has to have many surgeries in order to help with the damage caused to his jaw and nose due to the accident.

The driver of the car that hit my dad and Dayna was an older woman, who didn’t look out her window and didn’t see my dad on his motorcycle. Dad was driving at 55 mph at the point of impact. Dad hit the back end of the car and flew over her trunk to the other side of the intersection. Dayna bailed at the last minute in order to save her own life. When dad came to he looked around trying to find Dayna, when he did he ran to her side at the side of the road where Zollenger’s is located. When dad got to her she wasn’t breathing and he couldn’t find a pulse, my dad was devastated. As the emergency crew arrived on scene, the medical people where able to find a pulse and bring her back.

When I finally got to see my dad after LRH life lighted Dayna to LDS Medical Center in Salt Lake, the image I got was terrifying, this wasn’t my dad. To this day I see the look on my dad’s face, and it makes me cry. His upper jaw was protruding out because of the swelling, his nose was swollen due to it being broken, and his eyes were puffy from crying and being concerned about Dayna. I have never in my life felt so scared for my dad’s life.

As we all know both dad and Dayna made a full recovery. They are healthy and happy and still together. They have had their ups and downs, but are still keeping on together because of the love they share.

Today 1-24-10

As a child of a parent that has been seriously injured in a motorcycle accident the idea of someone not wearing a helmet while riding scares me to death. As I drove past the sight of the accident I got an over whelming feeling that I need to encourage my dad to wear a helmet. If my dad and Dayna had been wearing helmet the injuries that they sustained wouldn’t have been as sever.

Here are some statistics I’ve found on the subject:


· Helmet use among fatally injured motorcyclists below 50 percent
· More motorcyclist fatalities are occurring on rural roads
· More riders age 40 and over are getting killed

1. Approximately three-fourths of these motorcycle accidents involved collision with another vehicle, which was most usually a passenger automobile.

2. Approximately one-fourth of these motorcycle accidents were single vehicle accidents involving the motorcycle colliding with the roadway or some fixed object in the environment.

3. Vehicle failure accounted for less than 3% of these motorcycle accidents, and most of those were single vehicle accidents where control was lost due to a puncture flat.

4. The failure of motorists to detect and recognize motorcycles in traffic is the predominating cause of motorcycle accidents. The driver of the other vehicle involved in collision with the motorcycle did not see the motorcycle before the collision, or did not see the motorcycle until too late to avoid the collision.

5. Intersections are the most likely place for the motorcycle accident, with the other vehicle violating the motorcycle right-of-way, and often violating traffic controls.

6. Most motorcycle accidents involve a short trip associated with shopping, errands, friends, entertainment or recreation, and the accident is likely to happen in a very short time close to the trip origin.

7. The view of the motorcycle or the other vehicle involved in the accident is limited by glare or obstructed by other vehicles in almost half of the multiple vehicle accidents.

8. Motorcycle riders between the ages of 16 and 24 are significantly over-represented in accidents; motorcycle riders between the ages of 30 and 50 are significantly under represented. Although the majority of the accident-involved motorcycle riders are male (96%), the female motorcycle riders are significantly over represented in the accident data.

9. The driver of the other vehicles involved in collision with the motorcycle is not distinguished from other accident populations except that the ages of 20 to 29, and beyond 65 are over represented. Also, these drivers are generally unfamiliar with motorcycles.

Although my dad and Dayna where not killed in the accident, they are among the other statistics where the biker wasn’t at fault and were injured. Please Please Please wear a HELMET when riding a motorcycle. I don’t want to get another phone call that someone I love has been hurt in an accident and didn’t do anything to help prevent the damage that may be caused. I guess I’m just scared it’ll happen again and that my dad won’t be as lucky next time, it scares me more than anything.


Dad, please wear a helmet it’ll save your life…

Love Kae