The last few days I have had a lot on my mind. I don't condemn nor do I try to portray a "Holier than thou" persona, but my heart has been troubled. I have a family member who was born into the LDS faith, baptized, confermed, and attended many mutal activites. What I am having a hard time understanding is why every time there is the oportunity to bash our church they do. I love this member of my family but I don't understand why constantly it's ok to make it seem so inconvienent. I have never tried to rip them down and make them feel as though eveything they do is wrong. We were at a family dinner during the holiday's and this member said that the reason we were haveing a blessing on the meal was because the family is "REALLY MORMON". This hurts because you are too! I never once tried to make you feel bad for walking away. I have never made you feel bad for you choices. Yes, I will be the first to admit that I am not perfect. I don't always do what I am supposed to but I try. My heart breaks because thanking the Lord for what I have is a sacred thing to me. I have a relationship with God, I am proud of that. I will never tear someone down simply because of their beleif. It just hurts, think of the things that come from your mouth before you speak. You never know who your going to hurt.

It's been a few..

Wow, if i'm not mistaken it's been like almost 2 years since I was last on here..boy am I a slacker. Not to much has happened...Ok that is a lie. I ditched the boy, moved twice, wrecked my car, changed jobs twice...umm I think that about covers it.

I work for an AWESOME company now and am still at Wellcome Mart, yeah I don't think I'll ever leave there. I have been on an interesting journey lately as far as the work goes. Here, story time. :) I was back at Standard Plumbing/Heating supply for almost a year and half. In October of 2011 I applied to be a "Mother's Assistant" for this family here in the valley. I applied and just before the deer hunt in October which is the end of October and got called for an interview. I went to 2 interviews and was hopefull of getting the job. On November 7th I was offered the job!! I would have an increase in pay, a little more time off, and work with kids. I would be working with a young girl with depression issues and helping her with an online school. I was totally excited! I told my boss that I was putting in my notice and that the 28th of November would be my last day. I was sooooo excited!

The 28th couldn't get here fast enough. I was ready for the new challenge and the new expierences I was going to have.

I started on November 29th and I was so excited to go. I couldn't sleep the night before. I got up got ready and was there early. I talked to the mom and she told me that one more of her 5 children would be doing the home-schooling also. He was 8, and I knew that it wouldn't be a problem, it'd be more fun and not so continuous one on one with only one child. As 9:00 rolled around and the mom was going to work I knew I'd have a rough first day. It always seems to happen that way. Your first day is rough, because it is a new enviornment, and a new experience. I helped the kids with their school work and watered plants. The mom had asked me to do a few things if I felt ambitious..like clean and organize their pantry, clean and organize their fidge, and start the laudry for the family.. which there was 8! 8 people.. I don't know what is clean what is dirty, what item goes to which child. It was a disaster of a mess.. The mom had asked me to get with her oldest daughter and go through her clothes. Decide what was clean, diry, garbage, and DI. Well for a 16 year old that was a chore all on it's own! One item by the next the daughter would just look at the clothes and slowly pull the item to her nose to decide whether it smelt clean or dirty! GROSS!! Seriously?! Your nasty if you have No clue what is clean or not. Anyway so as we finished what should have been a 10 minute chore for almost an hour we started laundry. It was so disgusting what she would just leave on the floor..for EVERYONE to see.

Well 2:00 rolled around and I was folding and matching mis-matched socks for the WHOLE family..yeah really?! I did that for an hour! I was alone in their house. Their grandparents from out of state came to visit real quick. At about 2:15 the family left!!!! I was alone in their home for almost an hour! In that time my previous employer called to ask me a question. I told him that I didn't wanna hear I told you so. I hated my job. It's bad when you get a knot in the pit of your stomach for the whole day. I knew I had signed up to work as a "Mother's Assistant", but I felt like a maid.

I was in the home stretch. It was 3:30 and I got to go home at 4:30, I could leave and tell the mom I had made my decicion not to come back. The only thing that held me back from saying that was how would I pay my bills till I got a job? I left at 4:30 and had realized I had a text from my previous employer wanting me to call him. I called and told my situation. He asked me how soon could I start if they could figure out how to get me back. I told him I would be there at 8:00am on Wednesday(the next day) to help with a Huge Sale. He said he would do what he could and would call me later.

5:30 rolled around and I hadn't heard anything from my previous boss..he hadn't called yet. My step-mom Dayna came to my house and was talking to me and I was telling her what had happened and how unhappy I was. I had told her how badly I wanted to quit and not ever go back to that house. She said that her and my dad would support me in whatever I decided to do. While Dayna was at my house I had a call from Dennis, he told me that he couldn't get ahold of HR in SLC and that he would call me in the morning. I told him that would work, and hung up the phone. Dayna asked me if I would like to go get a pedicure. She was so sweet to take that time to help me take my mind off of everything. It was the perfect way to take my mind off of what had transpired.

Dayna dropped me off, I felt better a little more relaxed. I called my mom and asked her to come to my house. She promptly came. It was nice to talk to my mom and get her input on the situation. She said that whatever I decided she would support me. I couldn't ask for more. At 8:45 after toying with the idea for the last 4 hours I decided that I would call my employer and tell her that the job wasn't for me. I explained why the job wasn't for me and I had a good several reasons. I got off the phone and my mom told me that I had sounded very professional and that after I had gotten off the phone, my demenor and person was different. I felt different, I could feel that.

Well I was jobless!! AAAHHHHH! Wednesday morning, I woke up and decided I wasn't going to sit idol and not do anything so I got up got ready for the day and while I waided for Dennis to call I got on Workforce Services website and began applying for jobs. Dennis finally called at like 8:30ng that there wasn't anything that they could do. They had already offically offered the job to someone and that they needed to give her a chance. I applied at several places. An online furnature store, and had printed my resume to take to some places. I took a resume to Conservice, Hustad Mechanical as a secretary and applied at several otherplaces. I knew Hustad Mechanical from working at Standard Heating and Air Supply. So in a way I kinda knew the people. I took my resume in to Casey and in a nut shell told him what happened. This was about 9:15, and by 9:45 I had an interview for Friday. I had also gotten a call from the online furnature company for an interview on Wednesday. I was feeling a bit on top of my world! By the time 4:00pm rolled around on Wednesday I had 2 interviews and was feeling confident. Thursday I continued to apply for jobs anywhere I could think of. It was a slow day and not much happened. Friday came and I got up and got ready for my interviews. My interview with Hustad Mechanical was at 9:00 and I was pumped. I went in and had the interview. I was asked what sets me above the other applicants? I said that I knew the company, business, parts, their guys, all they would need to teach me was their computer programs. I felt it went well! I had another interview at Conservice at 10:00 on Friday.

Cheryl called me to work a double that night, I had nothing else to do so it worked out good. At 3:45 Hustad Mechanical called and offered me the job as their secretary! I galdly accepted and started the following Tuesday, December 6th!

I LOVE MY JOB!!! That is all I can say, I have the best co-workers, and awesome people I get to spend my day with! I am so happy things worked out for me!!

You know when you have just a good day, you can't explain why, or what makes it great. Well today is one of those days that you just feel so good about life and everything in the world. I sat on the porch last night with Kailey and we just talked, politics, love lives, work, and just about everything in between. It was fun to talk to a good friend, and not be worried about what she might think. I feel like I have so much to be thankful for today.

I woke up this morning and was so happy to have the opportunity to be alive, and doing well. There is so much in the world that is going badly right now, and I couldn't be more happy with the good things that are happening to me at the moment. One of the things that is so great is that I have Cody in my life. I know I've said it a million times but he makes me so happy. He makes me want to be a better person, everyday whether he knows it or not. Thanks babe for all you do for me. :)



When life seems to get you on your knees all you can do is hope and pray that goodness comes from sorrow. I was able to reflect on my grandpa and his happy outlook on life even when it was tough to be happy. It's been a rough year without him, and still you can't be happy out of the sadness, because of the full life he lived. I hope that I can always find the goodness in life like my grandpa did through his whole life.

Trying So Hard

It seems anymore that my emotions are all messed up. I’m trying to juggle 3 jobs, getting ready for school, a boyfriend, and my family. It all seems to be coming at me from all directions anymore. School all in itself is frustrating, just for the fact that I’m doing school. Work is out of control, in the last week I’ve worked 38 hrs at Wellcome Mart, and the one day that I need off work no one will work for me. Is it that freaking hard to just help someone out? There is nothing more frustrating that some of the BS I have to put up with at work. The hotel isn’t too bad but I have a hard time anymore just sitting, waiting on other people. Summer school is out for 2 more weeks then school with start back up, so that hasn’t been to frustrating. Cody is great to just listen, but sometimes I’m not sure if some of the comments he makes are just joking around or if he is really serious. Family is always a toughy for me. I have one of the most dysfunctional families I know. I have my mom and step dad who, are “Just doing the best they can”, I have a dad and step mom who just sit in the back ground and hope things just happen in their favor. I have a brother that is so messed up you can’t even begin to try and understand how to help or even if you can. Then there is my sister who just exists anymore. I have not felt so much anxiety in a really long time.
Why is it that when all I do is ask a simple question or voice an opinion everyone jumps down my throat? Honestly if I wanted to know what you think I’d point blank ask you, “What do you think of this?”
I cry at the drop of a hat anymore, all I wanna do is tell the people that I’m frustrated with how much they anger me, and why. I drop all I do to help someone and they basically tell me to F off… I just try to understand something and make an ass of myself for trying to understand. I’m getting to the point in life where I wanna move on the next step, and just be done with family BS and be living in it.
I feel that life is just moving by, I feel like I’m on a time crunch and that I’m going to be left behind. I feel like something with Cody could drastically change, sometimes I wonder if I am just expendable to him. I feel like I’m not good enough when it comes down to it. He says that he would date someone that is like a size 2, and huge boobs, and everything I’m not. It makes me wonder if I’m not what he wants. He always says well you know where the door is, and sometimes I wanna walk out the door, and never look back. I just want him to love me, for me and who I am, that is all I want.
I just need to let it all out, I need to be me.

Please no comments, just a bawling fest. Thanks

5 Hour Energy

So yesterday was Sunday and I had a long day ahead of me, I worked 11-5 at Wellcome Mart and then 6-11 at the Weston Inn. Work at Wellcome Mart wasn't to bad, really slow but it was a Sunday so that is somewhat to be expected, but I knew that if I was going to work for another 5 hours I would need a little pick me up. When I left the house for work at the Weston I stopped at Wellcome Mart to buy the non-caffinated 5 Hour Energy drink to help me to stay awake since I was exhausted as it was. Mind you I haven't had any kind of energy pick me up for like over 6 months. I thought though that I'd be ok since the 5 Hour Energy didn't have caffine. Well it worked to say the least, but the worst thing happened about 8:30pm I started to shake like crazy! I had eaten so I knew it wasn't my sugar dropping, it had to be the energy! It finally passed and I felt fine, but still it wasn't a good feeling to be shaking so badly.

Today, I got up and went about my laundry, and ate breakfast. About 1:30 I began to shake again! UGH!!! I ate lunch, drank so water, yeah it did nothing. I was disoriented and feeling nothing like myself! Yeah huge problem..what could have made me feel like this? I know that things pass through your system quite quickly, but to feel like that is so different since I haven't had problems with my sugar in a long time. I think it was the 5 Hour Energy. To say the least although they are advertised to be better than say a Rockstar or Monster energy drink I think it's just as bad for you! Learned a valuable lesson that is for sure...just because it doesn't contain caffine doesn't mean that it won't affect you badly. :)

Oh How the Time Flies

It's so crazy to think that it was 8 months ago I was just working and trying to figure out life and whatnot. Eight months ago today was Cody and I's first date! We went to dinner at The Beehive Grill, and just drove around talkin'. Who would know that 8 months later we would still be a couple and happy...from what I can see :) In these last eight months I think we both have grown so much, we both have I think a high respect for each other. I never though we would make it this far. I'm so grateful for the fun times and for even those couple of rough times when I wasn't sure if we would work out. I am so happy to have Cody, and so blessed, he has changed me for the good. I've learned that I need to stand up for myself more than I ever have. I don't think that words can sum up what I feel and think about our relationship. I have never in my life thought so much of someone. You know the greatest thing about him is that no matter where I am or how tough the situation he is there for me, and I can talk to him and he will always understand how I feel and give me feedback that helps me through the situation. When I need a shoulder to cry on (which I've cried on his shoulder literally lots) he is there to understand. I know that he and I haven't said the "L" word and that is ok, but I'm in the most serious "Like" with him...honestly I think it's more than just like but oh well. But this one is for Cody, I am so happy to be with you and can't tell you how happy you make me. I hope that things continue to go good with us!!

xoxo Kae

Feb...till Now :)

Wow this is going to be quite the update. From February till now, that is quite the gap right?! So March was fairly uneventful other than Cody and I went to Jackson Hole for the Hill Climbs. That was such a good time, we hung out with friends and just hung out. It was so cold! Brrr but it was fun. April, that month started busy but wasn't towards the end. My family and I went to Arizona for a week. From the time we left on Thursday till the next Wednesday we spent more than 24 hours total in the car. Now for all of you that know me I can only handle so much of people for so long. By the end of the trip I was ready to kill everyone in the car. But on the way I saw so many neat things and over all had a really good time. While we were in AZ we visited: Phoenix, Mesa, Scottsdale, Tuscon, Tombstone, Globe, Show Low, Pine Top, and just about everything in between.

Phoenix, Mesa,& Scottsdale:
We saw the Easter Pageant at the Mesa Temple. Now that was the most amazingly beautiful thing ever. It was the story of the Saviors life and crucifixion. If you haven't been totally make time to see it one day. While in the Phoenix area we visited Old Scottsdale, there were many different shops, art galleries and places to eat. By this point I was already totally pissed off lol. All I wanted to do was get the heck out of the state. Finally we made time to go shopping and so that kinda made me happy. Bill's brother Larry and his wife and daughter came while we were in Phoenix.

Tombstone:

HOORAY!!! My favorite part of our whole trip! I am a total Wyatt Earp fan! Not to mention I love the movie Tombstone, starring Kirt Russell and Val Kilmer! Oh gosh, it was amazing to see all the sights that are in the movie and they become real. For those of you that have seen the movie the Bird Cage Theater is really there and is in the exact same location as it was when Wyatt Earp, his brothers, and Doc Holliday where there. Also I visited the Oriental Saloon where Morgan Earp was shot and killed. That was really cool. While in Tombstone, we went to Boot Hill Cemetary. Boot Hill Cemetary is the location where: Fred White, the McLaury Brothers and countless other people are buried.

Tuscon:

We were in Tuscon only one night so I didn't get to see much there, but on the drive out of Tuscon we stopped at this place called the Biosphere 2. It's really neat there is this building that has all different kinds of habitats, that range from desert, to ocean, to the rain forest. It's in one large building! Really interesting! Here is a link to check it out :) www.b2science.org

We then hit Moab on the way home, it was so long I thought I was going to die. I sure am glad I went on the trip even though it was so long. I learned a lot about myself and my family and that you should NEVER under ANY circumstances go on a vacation with your parent after you are 17 or so. LOL

After Arizona there hasn't been much to happen, just work and school so that has kept me busy. Cody and I are still together and have been dating since October, it's been almost 8 months crazy to think that we've lasted this long. It sure was a surprise to me, but I couldn't be more happy. If anything else cool happens I'll be sure to post it. :)

peace Kae

A New 3 Year Old in My Life....

So I'm sure some of you are wonderin' what is going on in my life. Cody and I are still together and going good. We both surpassed our longest relationships, mine was 3 months...and according to Cody his is like 5 days...I doubt that but whatev.. But still it is a huge accomplishment on both our parts :)

The name of my post is so serious I have a new bf, his name is Carter. Carter is Cody's brother Jason's little guy. The following story is funny so feel free to laugh cuz I do. Keep in mind Carter is 3.

I was driving to work about 2 weeks ago and I passed Paul, Clayton, and apparently Carter was with them. Carter looked at Paul and said, "That's ma girlfriend." Well Clayton looked at Carter and was like well your going to have to talk to Cody about that. Carter then replied, " Oh, he won't mind."

Well when I found out that I had a new bf, I was excited just shocked that I was the last to know. :) A few days later Carter and Jason came to Cody's and Carter walked in the door and Cody said, "I hear ya have a gf, who is it?" Carter all proud of himself relpied, "KaeLani!". He was so excited he came and sat on my lap and I gave him a kiss and he blushed it was so cute. So after that happened he walked around sayin, "I kissed ma girlfriend, I kissed ma girlfriend."

Then this last week Carter was with Clayton and Sandra and they needed to stop at Cody's to get some things out of Cody's truck since they were takin Carter home. Carter looked at Sandra and said, "I wanna go see KaeLani." ( my car was in the driveway, YES he knows what my car looks like) Sandra told him that he couldn't come in since they were takin him home and so he got all in a huff and put his head in his hands then looked at Sandra and says. "She is so beautiful." puts his head back in his hands and then says, "I'm going to marry her when I turn 18." Carter is such a stud!!!


So this goes out to Carter.....Happy Valentines Day xoxo KaeLani

Thought of This Today

Today as I drove to work at the Weston Inn, I had to stop at the light at 600 West and HWY 89-91. This is the where Logan River Academy and Zollengers Cold Storage are located. If you don’t know or forgot why this location is significant to me let me refresh your memory or tell you why it’s significant.

May 12, 2007

I was in Salt Lake with some friends walking around Temple Square and enjoying the day. Driving home at about the Lagoon/ Farmington exit I received a phone call from Kent (Bankhead, my dad’s bf).

Me: Hello?

Kent: Hey KaeLani, this is Kent do you know where your dad is?

Me: No, I’d guess he is at home, is he not there?

Kent: Don’t you know?

Me: Know what?

Kent: Your dad has been in a motorcycle accident.

Me: WHAT?!

Kent: Call your mom, and she can tell you.

I called my mom just after that, and she told me that my dad and Dayna had been in a very bad accident and that they were both in the hospital. I was silent, as the tears welled up in my eyes I could’t believe it. I thought that my dad wasn’t going to make it. That was the longest drive of my life from Farmington to my house in Wellsville.

When I got home I tried to call my grandma Sharon so that I could find out what happened and so that I could find out if I could see my dad. I finally got a hold of my grandma and she told me that my dad had been in an accident that was very serious. I asked her how serious and she told me that my dad had a concussion, broken his nose, and had had his four front teeth pushed up into his gums. His teeth had been pushed up so far as to the point it looked like he lost them altogether. Grandma told me that Dayna had the worst of the injuries. Dayna had lacerated her spleen, broken most of the ribs on her left side, broken her wrist, and punctured her lungs; she also had a small stroke. Dayna spent nearly a month in ICU and Respiratory ICU, battling for her life. Dad has to have many surgeries in order to help with the damage caused to his jaw and nose due to the accident.

The driver of the car that hit my dad and Dayna was an older woman, who didn’t look out her window and didn’t see my dad on his motorcycle. Dad was driving at 55 mph at the point of impact. Dad hit the back end of the car and flew over her trunk to the other side of the intersection. Dayna bailed at the last minute in order to save her own life. When dad came to he looked around trying to find Dayna, when he did he ran to her side at the side of the road where Zollenger’s is located. When dad got to her she wasn’t breathing and he couldn’t find a pulse, my dad was devastated. As the emergency crew arrived on scene, the medical people where able to find a pulse and bring her back.

When I finally got to see my dad after LRH life lighted Dayna to LDS Medical Center in Salt Lake, the image I got was terrifying, this wasn’t my dad. To this day I see the look on my dad’s face, and it makes me cry. His upper jaw was protruding out because of the swelling, his nose was swollen due to it being broken, and his eyes were puffy from crying and being concerned about Dayna. I have never in my life felt so scared for my dad’s life.

As we all know both dad and Dayna made a full recovery. They are healthy and happy and still together. They have had their ups and downs, but are still keeping on together because of the love they share.

Today 1-24-10

As a child of a parent that has been seriously injured in a motorcycle accident the idea of someone not wearing a helmet while riding scares me to death. As I drove past the sight of the accident I got an over whelming feeling that I need to encourage my dad to wear a helmet. If my dad and Dayna had been wearing helmet the injuries that they sustained wouldn’t have been as sever.

Here are some statistics I’ve found on the subject:


· Helmet use among fatally injured motorcyclists below 50 percent
· More motorcyclist fatalities are occurring on rural roads
· More riders age 40 and over are getting killed

1. Approximately three-fourths of these motorcycle accidents involved collision with another vehicle, which was most usually a passenger automobile.

2. Approximately one-fourth of these motorcycle accidents were single vehicle accidents involving the motorcycle colliding with the roadway or some fixed object in the environment.

3. Vehicle failure accounted for less than 3% of these motorcycle accidents, and most of those were single vehicle accidents where control was lost due to a puncture flat.

4. The failure of motorists to detect and recognize motorcycles in traffic is the predominating cause of motorcycle accidents. The driver of the other vehicle involved in collision with the motorcycle did not see the motorcycle before the collision, or did not see the motorcycle until too late to avoid the collision.

5. Intersections are the most likely place for the motorcycle accident, with the other vehicle violating the motorcycle right-of-way, and often violating traffic controls.

6. Most motorcycle accidents involve a short trip associated with shopping, errands, friends, entertainment or recreation, and the accident is likely to happen in a very short time close to the trip origin.

7. The view of the motorcycle or the other vehicle involved in the accident is limited by glare or obstructed by other vehicles in almost half of the multiple vehicle accidents.

8. Motorcycle riders between the ages of 16 and 24 are significantly over-represented in accidents; motorcycle riders between the ages of 30 and 50 are significantly under represented. Although the majority of the accident-involved motorcycle riders are male (96%), the female motorcycle riders are significantly over represented in the accident data.

9. The driver of the other vehicles involved in collision with the motorcycle is not distinguished from other accident populations except that the ages of 20 to 29, and beyond 65 are over represented. Also, these drivers are generally unfamiliar with motorcycles.

Although my dad and Dayna where not killed in the accident, they are among the other statistics where the biker wasn’t at fault and were injured. Please Please Please wear a HELMET when riding a motorcycle. I don’t want to get another phone call that someone I love has been hurt in an accident and didn’t do anything to help prevent the damage that may be caused. I guess I’m just scared it’ll happen again and that my dad won’t be as lucky next time, it scares me more than anything.


Dad, please wear a helmet it’ll save your life…

Love Kae

Just A Thought and Update

Well I met the whole family..aunts, uncles, cousins, Mom and Dad...brothers nephews! Weird to think this all started about a month ago. Just some funny things that have happened since I started dating Cody...

1. Halloween Night I went over to Cody's and his brother and parents were both over at the house across the street. Come to find out it was his mom's uncle's house. As we walk in Woodrow says to Cody, "Hi, how are you?" Cody says, "I'm good" and then Woodrow says "So is this your wife?" Haha kinda funny. Seein' as we've been dating less than a month at this point..


2. Cody is sitting at the firehouse at Hill and asks for a pic the guys at work wanna see me. I send a pic and there are about 10 people that see it, I get a text sayin' they approve. YAY for me...I see Cody that Saturday and he says that the WHOLE firehouse knows that he "Has a hot girlfriend" and the fire chief asks when the wedding is...


3. Workin' at Wellcome Mart and this guy comes in and looks at me and says "Do you know Cody Garrett?" I respond "Yes" He says " Have you been dating him?" Hesitantly I say, "Yes" he says....Oh cool I'm his brother.... A few days later I tell Cody the story and he laughs and tells me that his brother says, "Dude, she's hot...don't screw this up!"


You know I keep getting told that it says a lot about me...I'm the first girl to EVER meet his parents let alone the WHOLE family!!!

We are only a month into this but I can't help but smile when I think of him! I guess an extended period of time crush sure does pay off....

Oh yeah I'm supposedly responsible for decorating Cody's new house.....it's not mine..Why should I????????? SUGGESTIONS
Just thought I would pass on some of the funny things that have kept me laughing all month :)

I'll try to keep you all posted on anything else that happens... :) oh yeah and it's Cody's B-day today! HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY!!!!


peace ~*kae*~

I Hope This Fairy Tale Isn't Too Good To Be True!

Now from the title of my blog this time, I know what you are thinkin,

1. Who is the guy

2. Why do I even wonder so soon...

3. Goodness girl, get over it and let loose, see what happens

I must totally agree with you, but as we all know the last few relationships I've had have ended up in disaster! Bryce didn't pan out, Chris couldn't wait and got married, and Kyle just didn't know what he wanted. Now I totally know that I need to just chil and see what happens, but it's so hard, especially when I have had a crush on this one for seriously years! I know totally pathetic, but I've wanted to go out with him for so long that I am starting to over think things.

So I'll just tell ya a little story and your going to enjoy it just as much as I have, and if you have heard it sorry your about to hear it again...

So about 3 weeks ago I was workin at Wellcome Mart, and this guy walks in and buys a drink and shoots the breeze with us (Cheryl and I) for a minute then leaves, and I looked at Cheryl and I said, "Seriously Cheryl, I have had a crush on him for soo long!" We talked about it and then laughed it off. Then at around 4:30 I was closing out my till and I had a question for Cheryl so I walked out and she was talkin to some guys that were in getting a few snacks and things. So we are all standin there and this guys ( that I have had a crush on) comes over to me and says, "So what is your name?"

I looked at him and said, "KaeLani Leishman."

He says, "Hmmm, where do you live?"

I said, "Here in town on the south end."

He says, "Really?"

I said, "Yeah....."

Cheryl says, "Looks like your friends are leaving you."

So the mystery man walks out the door and as he is leaving Cheryl yells, "YOU FORGOT HER NUMBER!" I looked at Cheryl and just laughed I told her that he didn't want my number, she then laughed and said, "Hun, he didn't buy anything."

I said, "Cheryl, he came in with his buddies, that doesen't mean anything."

So we laughed it off again, and I went back to work and went on with life.

Friday rolls around and I'm sitting at El Toro with my parents and sister, and I get this text that says, "Hi, this is Cody, how are you?" and the first thought that comes to my mind is why is Cody Harrison texting me and how in heavens name did he get my number? So I respond back "Cody? Hi" anyways so he tells me that he is the guy that I had been talkin to at the gas station the other day and that he was headed out of town but that he wanted to take me out to dinner when he got back. I was all for it, totally excited. I was so excited that I was hyperventalating at the table. Ok, now how silly is this, I had a crush on this guy for years but didn't have a clue what his name was. I knew he had a brother a year younger than me and that was it.

Fast forward to Saturday the 10th of Oct. I went on a date with this guy, totally stoked! We went to dinner, went sighting for elk, and drove around and talked. It was so fun. I was thinkin the whole time please ask me out again, you seem so nice. So just before he dropped me off he asked me what my schedule was lookin like for the next week. I told him that Tuesday I could hang out and that Wednesday was also open. We planned for dinner Tuesday. Tuesday came and I was sooooo excited! When he picked me up Cody asked me where it was that I wanted to go to dinner at, I was really up for anything, and then he said, "How about Texas RoadHouse?" I was so excited when he asked me if that was ok. Texas Roadhouse here we come! YAY, so we had a great date and that night as I got out of the truck he kissed me! HAHA yeah I know a second date and he kissed me, but isn't a second date better than a first date?! Then we made plans for Saturday night and that was a good time also. We went to dinner at Wingers and then to a movie! Honestly I love to hang out with him. We have so much in common and it's just fun. We are both from Wellsville and so that is fun, small town kids, and all that. He is from the half of Wellsville that I'm NOT related to so that is a HUGE plus! Just an all around sweetheart!

So the most up to date with Cody's sweet nature....I'm here at the Weston, and he brought me dinner! Unannounced! Yeah, how cute is that! You tell me..

Well ttfn!

~*kae*~

Been Busy..it's time to catch up..

Holy Wow! It's been like over a month since I was here, and a ton has happened.. are you ready for a list of most likely insignificant things? To start off my list, let's talk about work! Work, work, work, nothin' but work. School started again in August, and I'm back at at MC, workin' with fun people and the most interesting child on the planet! It was so funny one of the first days back at school the kid I worked with was having an episode, and looked at me and said, "Hey KaeLani, would you like a hot dog?". OK, now as you laugh as hard as I did let me just tell you that I was all but rolling on the floor when he said this. Honestly I have never in my life thought I would laugh at the funniest things, that to most of you probably aren't even funny.. :)

The Hotel, still here and havin' fun, we have been so busy here that we've been hoppin' around so much, for three out of the four weekends in September we were BOOKED!! Booked completely full! It was fun, and kept all of us busy. We've had just about every event from LOTOJA to TOU to a college Rodeo. It's been nuts! Now here we are in October and we're slowin' down but that is always kinda nice, when it's been a long day. There are some fun events that are coming to town so let's hope we keep busy up in here.

NEW JOB! I started about 2 weeks ago workin' at the Welcome Mart in Wellsville. It is so much fun with the exception of sellin' alcohol and tobacco. It's fun and I enjoy the people I work with, we have fun and just work. LOL yeah anyways :)

The next cool thing that happened to me was my parents got sealed for time and all eternity on September 22, 2009! YAY, you know it's about time my mom was happy. I'm so happy that Bill is a part of our family, he brings so much joy and happiness to our family it's great.

Also I have the CUTEST nephews on the planet..no they aren't biologically nephews but I love them! Talon and Kayson, are so adorable! I love to play with them, and be the fun aunt that they can come hang out with. YAY


Well that is a blog for now, I can't think of anything else to say :)

HAHA TTFN
~*kae*~

A Tribute

So I'm not sure how many of you know, but on the 10th of August we (my family and I) lost my Grandpa Walt. Boy, what a shock it was. I had just seen him on Saturday, and talked to him about my mission on Wednesday. It was about 11:45 or 12:00 and my mom called and wanted to tell me something but to leave the room where Marie was. So I did and she preceded to tell me that my grandpa had, had a stroke and that he was at LRH ( Logan Regional). But that I was to wait for Bill to get back from taking Marie to get school pictures and that he would take me to the hospital.

Now for all of you that don't know, my grandpa and I were very close. For the longest time he was the Priesthood holder that I could count on. He gave me a blessing recently that made me really feel the power that Heavenly Father has given worthy men of our church. The power of my Father in Heaven. He gave me a WONDERFUL gift, one that I don't know how I'll ever repay him for. My grandpa before he died told me that he would pay in full for my mission. What an amazing blessing is that?!

When Bill and I finally got to the meeting place so that I could go see my grandpa we were told he was going to be Life-Flighted to McKay Dee Hospital in Ogden. I was in shock and broke down. My mom came to talk to us and told us that my uncle Larry had given him a blessing and that he was basically prompted to bless the family through this ordeal and not to bless my grandpa with a full recovery. So we all convoyed to Ogden, where we waited to hear the news of the recent CT scan. The scan showed that my grandpa had a severe brain bleed and because of some of the medication that he was on, made the condition worse. So collectively the family gathered together and made the choice to let my grandpa pass away. The doctors had told us that no matter the life saving procedures, he wouldn't make it. As we waited and took turns to see him, the family all showed up. Everyone came, Larry and his wife and kids, Brent and his GF and kids(all but one of his kids came) that is 5 of his 6 kids, Colleen, Mom and Bill and us kids. All in all there were 23 of us including an aunt and uncle that we are close to, grandpa's fiance Hazel, and spouses of my cousins. That was at 6:30 that we started the procedure. My grandpa held on for over an hour. Wow! But when he finally went there were 10 people with him.

As a family we buried my grandma Eileen on October 6th, she passed on September 30th, 2008. And not even a year later we buried our grandpa Walt on August 15th, 2009. I just wanted to let them both know how much I love them. They were my strength when I didn't think I had any. They were stable, and secure and everything you could ask for from a grandparent. As much as I love Hazel I am grateful my grandparents are together again. They are in Eternity together and watching over our family. I love them with all my heart and hope that one day I can be like them. The following are two songs that have helped me through, I hope you like them.


God Be With You Till We Meet Again

God be with you till we meet again; By His counsels guide, uphold you, With His sheep securely fold you; God be with you till we meet again.

Chorus Till we meet, till we meet, Till we meet at Jesus’ feet; Till we meet, till we meet, God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again; When life’s perils thick confound you; Put His arms unfailing round you; God be with you till we meet again.

God be with you till we meet again; Keep love’s banner floating o’er you, Strike death’s threatening wave before you; God be with you till we meet again.

In The Garden

I come to the garden alone While the dew is still on the roses And the voice I hear falling on my ear The son of God discloses

And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known

He speaks and the sound of His voice Is so sweet that the birds hush their singing And the melody that He gave to me Within my heart is ringing

And He walks with me
And He talks with me
And He tells me I am His own
And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known
And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known

Thanks for stoppin by
~Kae~

Modern Day Revelation

Today is Sunday as most of you know and I had an interesting experience today while I was sitting in Relief Society. For most of the summer I have been pondering whether to go on a mission or to stay around and keep dating.

Last night as I was somewhat arguing with my mom something she said kind of hit me in a soft place. She said, "You are seeming to loose focus of what you want while you date someone.". And you know she has been so right! I dated Kyle after I made the choice to serve a mission, and I did kind of loose sight of what I wanted. Then when that went down in the dust, I got refocused for about 2 weeks and then I met another guy that I have had and still have interest in. I mean the only real thing I guess is that I do loose my focus on what I want. But this scripture has helped a lot and if you have a moment to read it..you should it's a great scripture if you are feeling down. Matthew 11: 28-30

The Modern Day Revelation that I received today for myself was that I got an over whelming feeling that a mission is where I am needed the moment I am worthy to go.

While I was sitting through my meetings in church today no matter what the feeling or the thought that entered my mind, it always lead me back to the choice to serve a mission. It is the only way that I will truly be happy with myself. Every talk that was given and every lesson just gave me more of a confirmation that I need to serve my Father in Heaven. In I think it was in Sunday School that we read a passage that hit me with so much force, and it was that in the early days of the church that missionaries where sent to the British Ilse, and to the Australian Continent, and if people that had just been baptized into the church can serve a mission then I can do it too. This next paragraph is one that I have thought over for a while and it's now me.

I hope they call me on a mission,

When I have grown a foot or two, I hope by then I will be ready

to teach and preach and work as missionaries do.

I hope that I can share the gospel

With those who want to know the truth I want to be a missionary

And serve and help the Lord while I am in my youth

Here at the end of my thoughts I wanted to bear my Testimony that God lives and that His son Jesus Christ Lives, and that he bled and died that I might live again. I know that it is only through the atoning sacrifice that I will be able to return and live with my Heavenly Family again. I know that Joseph Smith is and was a Prophet of God, and that through him he restored the Gospel of Jesus Christ to the Earth in this Dispensation. I know that the Book of Mormon is the true words of God and that it leads us in our lives that we may find true and everlasting happiness. I know that the sacred ordinances that are preformed in the temple are amazing and life changing and I can't wait for the day that I will be able to go there and be sealed for time and all eternity. I know that Thomas S. Monson is a living prophet on the Earth today and that he leads this church with the power bestowed on him by our Father in Heaven. I know that if we follow the commandments and endure to the end we will achieve happiness in this life and in the here after. I say this with all the conviction in my heart, in the name of our Savior Jesus Christ Amen. Then next is just a continuation of my testimony enjoy!

I believe in Christ; he is my King! With all my heart to him I’ll sing; I’ll raise my voice in praise and joy, In grand amens my tongue employ. I believe in Christ; he is God’s Son. On earth to dwell his soul did come. He healed the sick; the dead he raised. Good works were his; his name be praised.

I believe in Christ; oh blessed name! As Mary’s Son he came to reign’Mid mortal men, his earthly kin, To save them from the woes of sin. I believe in Christ, who marked the path,Who did gain all his Father hath,Who said to men: “Come, follow me, That ye, my friends, with God may be.”

I believe in Christ—my Lord, my God! My feet he plants on gospel sod. I’ll worship him with all my might; He is the source of truth and light. I believe in Christ; he ransoms me. From Satan’s grasp he sets me free, And I shall live with joy and love In his eternal courts above.

I believe in Christ; he stands supreme! From him I’ll gain my fondest dream; And while I strive through grief and pain,His voice is heard: “Ye shall obtain.” I believe in Christ; so come what may, With him I’ll stand in that great day When on this earth he comes again To rule among the sons of men.

Hola!!

Hello! So the events of this week are as follows! YAY!

1. Work
2. Work
3. Work
4. Work and a Wedding Reception
5. A wedding!

AAAHHH!!!! Oh my gosh could there be anything else in my life other than work and weddings? I mean don't get me wrong I like to see that my friends are getting married and starting their lives with their new spouses, but lately that is all my life has consisted of! Work now that at least is keeping me occupied for the next few days. I think I have worked everyday since Tuesday and only get Saturday off because I get to go to....haha you guessed it... A WEDDING!!!!!!

So the weather this beautiful day is so windy and looks stormy..and I love it! I think I should move to Washington state what do you think? I happen to love the days that it looks gloomy and sad.. I love the rain too, so last night's rain storm was FANTASTIC! I love to fall asleep to the sound of the thunder and lightning and rain pooring down on the house.

Last night I had to work go figure..lol But I was able to get off work early and the plan was to go Country Swing Dancing but I didn't wanna go alone, so I thought I would call my friend Ben and chill with him so I did that. It was fun..he brought his little puppy! Her name is Page and she looks like my puppy Rex that I had growing up. A little dapple weiner dog! Aw cute! But anyways that is the update for this week...

peace Kae

Stupid Guy+ Amazing Girl= Heart Brake...

So here it is, the title of my post is the way I have been feeling since about 2 weeks ago Wednesday...As most of you can see I have been completely heart broken! You know what I absolutely can NOT stand is when a guy that likes you and says so, turns around and starts dating someone not even a week later. Now you tell me something...am I just finally getting sensitive? Or am I just a big freakin BABY!?!? Let me tell you the story.. because I am still in a bit of shock!

So the end of May I started to date Kyle, he was amazing an RM, active in the church, sweet, caring, and an all around good guy... OR SO I THOUGHT! So we dated for a while just casually, nothing to crazy then one night he asked me to be his girlfriend and I was sooo excited! A couple weeks later he texted me and said "I need to talk to you about something" Now being the girl that I am the threw a huge RED flag at my face. So I went to talk to Kyle and everything seemed fine. He had told me that he really liked me still and really enjoyed all the time he spent with me but he just wanted to be sure that he really wanted to date me as seriously as it seemed we were I guess. So I agreed and thought everything would work out and that I would date some just to see how it went. I didn't hear from Kyle for like 4 days so I just blew it off. Then Jaclyne and I went country swing dancing at the Fun Park and I glanced over to my left and lo and behold there was Kyle and I got all excited! Just as I was about to tell Chelsie that Kyle was there I realized that he was with another GIRL!!!!!! Yeah that is right another girl! WOW!!!!! I ignored him all night and then later texted him just to conferm my suspisions. I WAS RIGHT! She was HIS girlfriend!! WHAT?! A girlfriend and we hadn't even been apart a week? K, so maybe I am over reacting but it hurt so bad. And you know what is interesting...I'm totally ok with it now. I'm over him! ...well kinda.... Just frustration.. I give up on dating it gets me NO WHERE!!

peace Kae

Current Thoughts

So today I was deep in thought when I realized that I spend far too much time on the computer and that especially includes Facebook…I wanna pose some questions out there and maybe I can figure them out.

1.What is so enticing about the whole Facebook idea?
2. Why do we spend all of our time on a page where all we do is stare mindlessly at other people’s pictures?
3.Why do we take quizzes that supposedly tell us what kind of kisser, Disney character, what our eyes mean ect…

Anyone have any ideas? Is it because I have no life and I find it more interesting to see how much fun other peoples lives are? I guess so because I spend all my time doing that than taking my time to go and have a life all of my own…kind of stupid don’t you think? I would like some suggestions on how to improve my life…

Now for the other things that I have been thinking about. There is a song by Michael Jackson that I heard this week that has really hit me hard in life and made me think. Yes, it was preformed by the “King of Pop” but before you judge just listen to me for one moment ok…It’s called “You Are Not Alone”. Last night as I drove home from an extremely long night at work I listened to this song and due to the recent events in my life this song not only is a song about two people who love each other, but it also took on a spiritual meaning to me. It reminded me that my Savior Jesus Chris is always there for me, and he wants me to know that he loves me. Now before you harp on me to the fact that what was I thinking to put our Savior’s name and Michael Jackson’s name in the same paragraph…just take into consideration that maybe you haven’t heard the song and don’t understand the impact it has on my life. J I love this song and it not only makes me happy but it also brings me comfort. J

The next item of business…Who do you think would turn on a child and make them feel less than dirt? Well to most of us in the World you would think that only someone who doesn’t love children and has only their own best interests at heart….well I have a total shocker for most of you…this week my dad surpassed that! In one week my sister has shed more tears of sorrow and hurt that I thought was ever possible. Let me just ask a question really quick, What kind of communication skills do you expect a 13 year old to have? Since when has your new spouse taken precedence to your children? Why do would you think that a parent would side immediately with their new spouse over their children? Since when is the word of a 40 year old better than a 13 year old who doesn’t lie? Sorry for all the questions but I don’t understand how someone that is supposed to love you constantly turn their back and make a child feel as thought they are just dirt under your shoe…! I’m lost!

I think for this session I have said my peace but don’t worry there is still more to come! J

~*kae*~

HAHAHA months later.....

Here it is just the 2nd week in June and I haven't written in like 4 months. WOW!!! So much has happened to me in the last little bit. I have gotten a new job, broke up with Chris and have dated a TON, also have met a really nice guy and am now getting ready to go to beauty school in the fall. Goodness...hahaha that is a mouth full!

So we'll start with the most recent...school....I am going to New Horizons Beauty School starting in August, August 18th to be exact. YAY!! My dreams are finally about to come true! I was a little leary about taking the apptitude test, but now that I have taken it, I couldn't be more excited. I scored hight enough to recieve a small scholarship of $390.00. It's not a whole lot but who am I to complain?? But anyways, I can't wait to start and I can't wait to finish so I can begin my career.

Next, boys...LAME!!! HAHAHA Chris and I are done FOREVER!!! He decided to go back to his minor ex-girlfriend, and doing things that he knows are wrong...the end...GOOD-BYE CHRIS!!! HEllO....DATING! HAHA, I've been on more dates in the last 4 months than I have in the last 6 months...not that, that is a lot but it really is. I met a guy he is really nice, he is an RM, active in the church, sweet, and we have a TON in common! YAY!! We'll see how everything works out.

That basically is the end of everything that has happened to me..if you wanna know more just ask...you know I'll tell the details hahaha

Starting Anew...

Something in the last month has changed me and I think it has been for the better. I ended a relationship that was a serious learning experience, I met a rebound guy, I got a new job with the greatest kids in the world and the greatest co-workers, and I met a sweet guy... :) I have had the most up and down emotional month. I have made a choice that I hope will be one of the greatest choice of my life, I would like to go on a mission. When I started working at South Cache 8-9 Center I didn't know the life changing things that would happen to me. First I work with a student that is difficult and he is teaching me patience, understanding, and communication skills. He has taught me more about myself in the last month than I think I could have learned on my own. Since working there I have met some really AMAZING people. One of which, has become not only a great friend, but an inspiration to me. Jacki has been on a mission she is strong in the church and just a great person to be around. Jacki is the reason I want to go on a mission, I see the way she is in life and eveything and the sweet spirit that she has about her. I want to be like Jacki in the sense I want to have the same conviction that she has about life and church. This is the type of person I would like to have as a life long friend.

Also I have chosen to move home to my mom's house in Wellsville. I hope that I move home and that everything works out. I am going to live with my mom, step-dad, and little sister Marie. I am really excited to be at my mom's again, and I am so happy to possibly develop a better realationship with my sister. We'll see what happens here in the next few weeks...hahaha

Chris...Chris. Here it is, yes I'm sure it all seems kinda nuts, that I'm seeing someone!!! Yeah, i'm so excited to see what is going to happen with this. Chris and I dated a little in high school, and for a while last year. When I was going to move to Arizona for the summer I decided to ednt things, because 3 months of not seeing someone could be very hard...well I ended up coming back 4 days later from the day I left. Well how everything happened he thought he did something wrong, and I thought I thought I did something wrong...and so everything ended there... Now we are dating and seeing what will happen. :) really really excited to see what happens. :)

So This Weekend...

So this weekend I thought I would have trouble enjoying the weekend, since Bryce and I are over... On Friday Kenzie and I went to lunch after work and got lunch and then ate at Chili's for fun. It was fun to go and hang out with my sister and just visit and talk. I was so excited when Kenzie asked me to hang out with her and her friends on Friday night. It was the most fun I have had in the longest time. We went to a show for local bands and just hung out there for a while...then Jenna asked us if we wanted to go and hang out with Hobbs and his friends up in Preston. I had so much fun!! I met this guy named Tyson!!! YAY he is really nice and really cute! I had so much fun and he and I ended up cuddling!! Cute! Kenzie was so cute and she took a couple pictures of us..it was so cute. HAHAHA

Saturday was Valentines Day...my cousins wedding, that was an expierence all in it's self. It was fun but it was very depressing too, cuz I was all alone at a wedding on Valentines day. It wasn't the fun I would have liked but it turned out ok....

Sunday I htought that I would be bored again, but I was sitting her and chilling when Kenzie asked me if we could hang out with Jenna and Cortney...and go to Preston. It was so fun and I looked cute too...not to mention I got to hang out with Tyson again. YAY!! He is so cute and so much fun to cuddle with. I think I am totally crushing on him...SHHH don't tell ;)

XOXO Kae

A Week Summed Up...Slight Tragidy...

The last week has been a ROLLAR COASTER ride...lets start with the first thing that made this last week the worst in a long time.. I found out last Thursday that I got laid off at Standard Plumbing. Now my concerns with the current choice that Standard made:

1. Two people at my Branch got laid off...Me and Spencer J.

2. It was pay day....

3. The economy is HORRIBLE!!!

4. I have to search for a new job and basically a new life style

Ok so those are a few of the concerns that I have. I was thinkin of something though, I promised my area-coordinator that I would willing stay at Standard for at least a year. Now I would have made it, but the only reason I didn't was because of the stupid company lay offs. I have many questions though that have really weighed heavily on my mind...Did the south store have any one laid off? Did our store really not do as well as we though it did? Was our hard work really not good enough? I feel that the owner of Standard could have cut down on something else, so that Spence and I could keep our jobs. Just a thought.. Now my current thought is..Am I ever going to find a job with the current economy?

Next thing in my life that has me somewhat worried...Bryce...I love him but he and I had words on Saturday, and I told him that I needed to think about our relationship and make sure that our retationship is really what I want. I really do love to be with him and he makes me feel great about myself, and makes me want to be better no matter what. Right now I have made the choice to stay with him and not let doubts or concerns bother me. I still am worried though. I have never had feelings for someone this strong. I thought I did back a while ago, but I don't know...

Here it is the End of January....WEIRD!!!

So here it is the end of January! Holy Cow! This month has flown by like it didn't even exist...So this week...how to start? I have the bestest boyfriend in the whole wide world!! He is working on the most recent of albums for his band called "Rain" which is great but I guess I feel kinda neglected through this whole process. I know he doesn't mean to but it just happens. How do I bring it up? I think in the last two days we have talked maybe a total of 20 minutes!!! That is all...It's killing me.

So here it is almost Valentines Day and Bryce's birthday...What do I do that is cute but not like totally crazy...any ideas?? I hope this Valentines Day is a complete 180 from last year...Last year was so odd....I had a date, YES I did! The only weird part is 1. He wasn't my boyfriend 2. He was so weird. He was the friend of a guy I had dated the summer before. TOTALLY CRAZY!!!

Well I think that the title of my Blog is finally taking part in who I am as a person. I have I think made a complete change. I am trying not to swear, and I am going to try to get back to church. I wasn't really trying before, but I know that I want a temple marrage more than anything and I think I even know who I want to share that specail moment with... Something happened to me in the last few days that have totally changed my perspective on a ton of things. I had one of the greatest experiences last night and thank you to my step-dad Bill I'm not sure I would know for sure. I was in Deseret Book this week and there were some books that I saw that I wanted one was about AMAZING Mirculous things that happen concerning LDS Temples, another is a 21 day walk with the Savior, and the last is one of the kind that if you don't know where to turn the Savior is the place to look. I am so excited about so many things that are going on right now that I just could burst. :) HAHA well that is all I have for now... xoxo KAE

The Last Week....

So here in the last week I have been dealing with the stupid pain of an infected Wisdom tooth....What the heck is with that...?? I mean seriously why the heck do we get wisdom teeth? You have to get them out anyways so why do they even form in your mouth? I'm so lost haha They are just painful suckers :) I guess i'm kinda bitter considering mine hurts. I've been to the dentist 3 time in a week, I'm on an antibiotic that at first(before i took it) was told that I could be allergic to it...I'm not talking like a rash, I'm talking HIVES, ANAFALACTIC SHOCK!!! Scary! So I guess here is the ultimate question, why do we get them and what are they good for? Especally for people like me that barely have enough room in their mouth as it is......

Out to MOM!! :) LOVE YOU & Everyone else who wants to mess with my Family Beware!!

This one is for the mom, I love you! Don't let anyone let you think other wise! Yeah we have had our rough patches but who doesn't? Whatever was said, by whom ever ignore it...your my mom and I love you for who you are! I don't want you to think you did anything wrong. YOU DIDN'T! Don't worry who says what it is jealously towards who you are and what you think. I hope that the future brings better experiences than this. You deserve it.

For those of you that think that you can hurt my mom you are wrong! What happened is done you can't change the past! Don't tell everyone that the choices you made were your fault and then turn around and tell someone that it is their fault! If you have a problem with someone keep it to yourself! Don't be vindicitve and INTENTIONALLY hurt someone for the choices you make. We all do stupid things now and then, but that doesn't give you the right to take it out on others! I LOVE MY MOM and I don't care what anyone has to say to try and contradict me. Yeah she and I have had some rough spots in our relationship, who doesn't? If I come to you and want to talk about frustrations that I am having that is to be KEPT confidential! I don't want it to be broadcast to the who F-ing nation and especially to the person that I am frustrated with, because usually I have strong feelings for that person and they mean a lot to me....I don't tell everyone about your frustrations!

Any of you that agree good for you! Keep doing the good things you know you can do. But those of you that constantly degrade, and maliciously, antangonize my loved ones you have started a war that there is NO guarentee it will end! You have stirred the pot and now it's coming back to bite you in the BUTT! Karma is a Bitch! (excuse the language) It ALWAYS comes back to get you! Just remember that!